Monday March 31, 2003

I will say it again
I've been listening to a lot of Everclear lately. It's just the right amount of good-time rock and lyrics which don't necessarily make me cringe.

This afternoon, Katie and I watched the Catholic channel. They had a classy pseudo animation about the story of Adam & Eve, with the right amount of interpretable narration. I got to yell things like, "Katie! God just told Adam and Eve to fuck like donkeys!" Afterwards, there was a special Lenten sermon by a priest whose hat was cocked at an angle, leading to discussion of priest-gangs. Those big crosses around their necks? Totally a dagger in disguise, or possibly a poison blow-dart apparatus.

Sarae, 05:01 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

1 comment

Don't hardly know you, but I'd be willing to show you
Due to this constant media barrage of it, I've been thinking about the war and politics in general lately. I used to think of myself as a Democrat because, well, they typically were pro-choice, and that was pretty much the only issue I cared about. I mean, social security? Taxes? Once they start talking about it, I just tune out - unintentionally, of course. Also, I must admit, there's that little part wherein I think: my dad's primarily Republican. Must rebel; be Democrat. I suppose if I really wanted to be the stereotypical college student, I'd go independent, green, whatever. But I have a hard time voting for someone who has no chance in hell to win. Yes, yes, I know - it's all about letting the public know there are voices out there who aren't served by the major parties. Whatever. It's not me.

It's becoming harder to tell, at least for myself, the difference between the parties. But that's not the point of this all. The point here is that I've recently realized that - if I may put it crudely - I am pro-death. All of those pesky little issues that pop up: war, abortion, death penalty? I believe in them all. Not always, mind you - but there are appropriate circumstances for each.

The war in Iraq? I was hesitantly undecided before it began - I thought it was the right thing to do in theory, but I wish we'd approached it in a manner that did not require us to either snub our noses at the U.N. or back down until a later date. Now I am unabashedly supportive of it. Anti-war protesters annoy me to no end - when I almost unwittingly joined a group in Library mall Thursday, I was pleased that they waited til I passed them to start marching. I also had to hold my tongue to avoid laughing at their self-important discussion on whether to start right then, or wait til a news channel showed up. That, or I was about to start shouting "Go Bush!" Colette has another story of the brilliance [note: sarcasm] of anti-war protestors, but she doesn't like me telling it because it, well, makes them sound stupid. I told my father, however. He laughed. A lot.

Sarae, 01:01 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

2 comments

Sunday March 30, 2003

Easy, breezy
It's probably not necessary to apply full makeup before doing a load of laundry. But my hair is freshly dyed, dried and styled, and a non-dumpy lounging outfit has been put on. So, really, why not do the makeup, too? At least I draw the line at heels.

Sarae, 04:24 PM
while listening to Michigan State game
[Just this]

No comments

This weekend's been filled with exciting things, boring things, as well as in-between things which were kind of exciting, but not fully. I also slept thirteen hours in one day. Impressive, no? The only thing that's consistent about this weekend was that I spent far, far too much money.

Sarae, 10:37 AM
while listening to whirring.
[Just this]

No comments

Friday March 28, 2003

A moment
I freaked out, I did poorly on a midterm, and my Badgers lost in a painfully slow fashion that allowed me hope that there was still something there, when I knew there was not. The Badgers are, by that description, an utter asshole. Luckily pool, alcohol and darts can make one almost forget the sorrow. Interestingly, I care most about the fact that I have no Badger sports to look forward to until the end of August. Shit.

Sarae, 03:15 AM
while listening to silence
[Just this]

No comments

Thursday March 27, 2003

Grr.
Tonight I'm filled with various levels of hate, rage, fear, trepidation and the sense that I've got a feverishly sleepless night ahead of me. There was a point, about twenty minutes ago, wherein I decided that it actually wouldn't be so bad for the Iraqis and North Koreans to simultaneously detonate a cartful of nuclear weapons, provided it wiped out the entire world.

And it's not all due to the fever. Because, you see, my thermometer claims that I'm merely a balmy 98.1 degrees, no more. If this is true, I would enjoy speculation on why my skin feels like it's about to explode, like a non-forked potato in the oven.

Sarae, 02:08 AM
while listening to the sound of me madly typing
[Just this]

Wednesday March 26, 2003

Weird

• My knuckles smell. They're not gross smelling, though.
  
• I am about to embark on a new obsession: Frappucinos. However they are a Starbucks product, and I was under the belief that we are supposed to boycott them. Will have to inquire with Colette; then again I don't boycott the other things she does. So, screw it.
  
• It was supposed to rain today. It did not. That's okay.
  
• I like church in notion, but not so much in practice.

Sarae, 01:57 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

Monday March 24, 2003

I've recently decided that I should at least attempt to make my updates witty, or amusing, or whatever. So I'll probably be writing far less. Deal.

But does anyone else find Colette's [name deleted] crush hilarious? I certainly do.

Sarae, 10:42 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

It's getting hot in here..
I know it's getting to be spring. Sunshine, no snow, birds - all that. But it's still a shock to wake up, get out of bed, and not be freezing. And to have it feel just so nice out. I'm not complaining, really - but it's hard to appreciate the spring when I feel like we haven't yet had winter. God I miss winter.

Sarae, 09:16 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

The wink
Today I plodded to work. I plodded home and napped, intermittently watching basketball - cheering in vain for whoever was playing Kentucky. I no longer remember. I vaguely recall catching a moment or two of the Michigan State game before I left to meet Colette.

Colette dragged me to church. Or, rather, she said she had to go to church alone and I offered to accompany her. The last time I was in church was almost exactly seven months ago; I figured it was time. Previously I had waited approximately sixteen years between church visits. I'm getting much better.

Today I went to what will henceforth be known as "industrial church." Before I attended "tall church," which will also be known as "church with scary-ass art and horrible acoustics." Apparently during Lent they decorate with purple; I unknowingly wore periwinkle and felt very festive. Then again - Lent isn't exactly a festive time, is it. We saw Derek from my old dorm, and he sat with us. He's a recently baptised Catholic, and seemed intruiged that neither Colette nor I were baptised. Then again, he was also amused that Colette "brought" me. Go figure.

I enjoyed the setup of industrial church much better than the other, and I didn't feel so.. spied upon. They sang a hymn right at the beginning, wherein they capitalized "Word." At this point, I nearly broke out in a cold sweat, wondering how I got into this. However, halfway through mass I was actually able to lose my church-fearing inhibitions and relax, but once we had to hold hands towards the heavens and sing.. no way. It got a little better near the end, but I'm still left with overwhelmingly conflicting thoughts about church, and religion as a whole. I suppose I oughtn't base my entire religious life on three wildly differing visits to Catholic churches; perhaps eventually I'll make it elsewhere. Hopefully they'll have the really hot boys, too. I could totally get into findin' God that way.

Sarae, 01:51 AM
while listening to MSNBC, of course
[Just this]

The game
Turns out the basketball game Thursday is at nearly-seven, not four. I'm very tempted to call my father's bluff and tell him to get my uncle to fly us out to Minneapolis after my midterm.

Sarae, 01:49 AM
while listening to MSNBC.
[Just this]

Saturday March 22, 2003

Oh my
Amazing.

I'm still hyped up. At that last second, I screamed so loud that my mother could hear it in the garage. She was standing in the garage, because when she left the house to pick up the pizza, we started to do better. Naturally after scarfing down a slice apiece, my father and I ordered her back into the garage for the final thirty seconds.

Damn midterms keeping me from attending the game.

Sarae, 08:45 PM
while listening to nothing
[Just this]

Disturbing the quiet
Words that make Colette laugh riotously: Oy, bar mitzvah, bat mitzvah, scrotum, oy vey, kvetch

Words that make Colette laugh, but not riotously: penis, Pope, testicle, clitoris, oy gevalt

Words that "aren't funny": mayonnaise.

Update: typing "oy gevalt" on AIM has a much more favorable response.

Sarae, 01:10 AM
while listening to MSNBC
[Just this]

Thursday March 20, 2003

'Cause I was tired of lying
Last night, I was set to go to bed at a respectable hour. Instead I stayed up til nearly five watching MSNBC. I slept on the couch, cell phone alarm set for nine, glasses and television on so that I could drift off to the news. Presumably so that I could wake up and watch immediately, were there some important breaking news I needed to hear. There wasn't.

It's foggy out. I'm tired. I have to drag myself to the library to print off pictures, then accompany family to lunch to pour over pictures. What once seemed an enjoyable time is fast seeming tedious. Get me some caffeine. At this rate, I'll not make it to 6 to see my Badgers screw Weber State. That, my dears, would be a shame.

Sarae, 09:55 AM
while listening to Ben Folds Five - Brick
[Just this]

War and disbelief

I should be fast asleep, but instead I keep pouring glass after glass of Cherry Coke. If I'm going to be awake, I should finish cleaning the livingroom, start cleaning my room, or do something productive, schoolwise or other. Not running around taking pictures of my new fish and for Photo Friday, not admiring my impressive hairspray, not trying on my new and old bras, not making more of a mess. I should also not be absorbing hour after hour of news. I dozed off a bit before Bush's last-minute press conference and a bit of his speech wiggled itself into my dream. I woke to post-speech dissection on one of those networks, and have been in a state of disbelief ever since. Now is when I remember the Gulf War; I remember a neighbor's yellow ribbon and the still cameras on the news showing flashes of light or still nightvision. They show this now, and I'm nine years old again, wondering what's going on but not interested enough to try to decipher the newscaster's language. Now that it has officially begun, the war seems so unreal. I've been listening to analysts and leaders and correspondents discuss it for so long, it became something that would never materialize. I think that if I sit at the tv and watch every update, every new hypothesis, that it will end soon. Or that it'll sink in. Neither will happen, but I can't just tear myself away. Except of course for basketball. If they preempt a single one of my games, so help me, CBS will get a scathing letter from me.

Sarae, 02:01 AM
while listening to MSNBC
[Just this]

Wednesday March 19, 2003

Sometimes you cram so much in a day that you look back and say, "woah, was that all today?"

Sarae, 10:41 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

Tuesday March 18, 2003

How strange it is to be anything at all
An afternoon full with a skirt and shopping and a night full of Italian food, Sex and the City and cosmopolitans makes quite a delightful Monday. Colette is currently trying to convince me to attend Club 5 with her and Brandon tonight; I've yet to commit.

Sarae, 07:13 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

Monday March 17, 2003

Hey now now
Some things I'd like to state.

Colette: You're supposed to be home now, answering your phone. That, or you're supposed to be online, so that I don't have to call you and can instead send a lovely instant message. We are supposed to be festive today, you said, and I've finally woken and roused myself from a twelve-or-so hour standstill. I'm almost dressed, as well!

Blog I read but will not link to right now: You're not supposed to invoke memories of an inside joke from someone in my past. You didn't do it on purpose, of course, but still - please don't repeat it. It didn't hurt, it didn't make me laugh. I smirked ever-so-slightly, recalling times when it was invoked with giggles or with the utmost seriousness. Then it was over - but I fear that if you continue to remind me of said person, I will have to quit reading you. And that's a shame, because you're damn funny.

MSN Indie Pop Express Radio Station: Thank you for playing Bikini Kill, even though it was a touch amusing that they'd be considered "pop," but they fit in well with the other songs. I also am requesting that you play that song. You know, the one you played twice last night that I loved, that was so obscure that iMesh didn't have any songs from that group, and Google didn't find any lyrics for them. I liked it, play it again soon. If you do, I'll stop skipping past all the other songs. Please - you've played Ladybug Transistor three times, and Yo La Tengo twice!

Family: Thank you for being unbelievably fun. Perhaps the key to having a liquidy smooth, fun time with you is a few drinks, after all. Thank you also for making me proud to be related to all of you, for possibly the first time ever.

Store: Oh, why do you have to have online shopping? I was content to just idly browse the catalogue, and wait for the few times I make it to your store. But now, now I can log on and order anything. Which will not be kind on my wallet.

Cellphone: Where are you? I had you Friday. I would like to take you with me, when I wander about.

Sarae, 04:11 PM
while listening to Yatsura - King of Lazy
[Just this]

"Friendly porn" socks
One of the more amusing search engine hits I've gotten lately.

Sarae, 01:43 PM
while listening to NYPD Blue in the other room
[Just this]

Sunday March 16, 2003

Forget the scenes, the faces, the public disgrace
Weddings are my new favorite social engagement, pun slightly intended. Any reason to dress up in quality stockings, a fun dress and great shoes, drink a lot and laugh at your relatives (or non-relatives) is a good one. There should be more weddings at pseudo expensive hotels.

I inadvertantly let the cat out about at least one family semi-secret. It wasn't that big of a deal; almost everyone knew. So, whatever.

Sarae, 11:13 PM
while listening to Juno - Covered With Hair
[Just this]

Friday March 14, 2003

People
Sometimes I just want to smack people and make them talk normally. Especially those pseudo intellectuals with the scenester glasses that talk so goddamned annoying, with that lilt to their voice which you just know indicates that they look down on you. And also those sorority idiots who are too stupid to realize that people are talking in normal voices here, not baby whispers with questions at the end of every sentence. Goddamn.

I'm glad I've got a break from this shit, starting in.. twenty minutes.

Sarae, 10:25 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

I am finding plentiful things to pack for my two-day, one-night adventure in Marry Off the Cousin. Things that I will not have time to use, but am packing nonetheless. Journal? Hello, I don't write in it. Swimsuit? Yes, there's a pool in the hotel, but I won't get to use it, thanks to the late hour of the wedding. (And the missing nature of my goggles - where did you go?) Cigarettes? Like I'll be away from my family long enough to have one.

The Union had better be playing the Badger tournament game today, otherwise.. I'll be back at the lab, huddled on headphones listening to a static-y Yahoo broadcast. Oh, memories. I'm trying to convince my dad to say that, if all three Wisconsin (UW, UWM, Marquette) teams make it to the Final Four, that he'd take me. It's improbable, yes. So?

Trying to explain basketball to Colette is a lost cause, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. Last night I found myself trying to draw parallels between basketball and politics. More specifically, I tried to convey the impressiveness of Wisconsin having three teams headed to the NCAA tournament by using some wacky analogy about having a lesbian run for president, and wound up confusing the both of us. Because I wasn't sure how else to explain it. I will figure it out, though. Eventually.

Sarae, 09:43 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

Thursday March 13, 2003

Keep me movin', take me somewhere
It's thirty-four degrees out, but it's sunny and it just feels like spring. There's a group of girls screaming on the street, gleefully - likely skipping out of any possible Friday class to get started on Spring Break. It's not warm by any means, but it looks warm - and that's plenty fine for me.

It's a little odd, having absolutely no plans (aside from a wedding) for break. I'm not even working - then again, I didn't work last year either. But I've nothing specific to occupy my time. Nothing. So, basically it's like the rest of my semester, only without classes and work. I should think of something spectacular to do.

The problem is that I'm not a spectacular-plan making kind of girl.

Sarae, 04:35 PM
while listening to The Webb Brothers - Summer People
[Just this]

This is a space-filler post, used only to bump off another post. Please resume your normal activities now.

I've been kinda prolific these past few days.

Sarae, 01:55 AM
while listening to The Busy Signals - The New You
[Just this]

Wednesday March 12, 2003

Validation
The day has come! I officially have Long Hair^TM.* Such good news.

Sarae, 07:32 PM
while listening to Sarge - Clearer
[I wrote more]

Curls curls curls!
Apparently one does need nicely coiffed hair in order to settle down and study more. We'll see how the mousse works out, I typically love the product but this stuff... well, it's in a lime green container. I would say "an atrocious lime green container," but really, there's no need to be redundant.

Sarae, 06:00 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

Bring back the car chase!
So, Elizabeth Smart was found. Alive. This is good, obviously. Personally, having been captivated by the constant barrage of news - for that one week when it was the hottest child abduction - seeing this now is a sort of weird closure to completely unrelated things.

I was a bit of a news junkie for awhile this summer (think: late May, to late June perhaps) wherein I watched the news all the fuckin' time. I'd watch CNN, MSNBC, FOXNews, whatever. I was partial to CNN until, well, I forget what "big story" it was, but all the other channels were covering it - and CNN was just plodding away with the uneventful political things. I dislike FOXNews now because my father enjoys it (apparently they hire the fewer communists than the other channels), and also because in today's dissection of Elizabeth Smart's case an anchor actually said, and I paraphrase but the meaning was quite clear, "that case was really such a shame, because she's such a pretty girl." Which is, of course, why she got the widespread media attention in the first place: white, blonde, pretty young girl is abducted from affluent area in Utah - such a wholesome place! How could they not cover it?

And I admit: during the whole kidnap-fest of this summer, if they'd dwell on one child too long I'd get bored, and want something new to happen. Not necessarily another child kidnapping, but something. Like that time where, for no apparent reason, CNN was broadcasting some kind of stakeout in Florida which wound up to be nothing - a TV crew just happened to see people with guns, so they put it on the air for forty-five minutes. At the end, you could sense the play-by-play announcer's, I mean correspondent, disappointment.

The trapped miners ordeal was okay, though. That didn't last too long; you knew that there was going to be an end, be it gruesome or happy, within three days. I'm all about the pseudo-instant gratification. None of this will-they-ever? business for me.

Sarae, 05:25 PM
while listening to Mission of Burma - That's When I Reach For My Revolver
[I wrote more]

All we need from you, is one dose of truth
Somewhere, there's a thudding bass pressing against floorboards. I can hear it.

I should be asleep. Not because I've been sleeping little lately, but solely because I'm due at work in six and a half hours, and I need to shower. Meaning, up in five and a half hours. I suppose I'm tired, which is either a good or bad thing, because I've slept ungodly hours in the past few days. Ungodly, plentiful hours.

My new shoes are fabulous. They make tapping noises when I twirl in the bathroom. They give the tops of my feet tiny spasms when I wear them for too long, just sitting. They make me feel older and classier, even when wearing my dreadful and determinedly non-classy pajama pants. They make me forget about things I want to forget about.

Water is spectacular. I've not had a sip of caffeine since Friday afternoon, when Renata and I bought coffee for Gloria Jean's because I was afraid I'd not make it out that night. Heavens, it worked. But since then I've been consuming copious amounts of water, milk and a little bit of Sprite. (Ok, a lot of Sprite, but still, more water than the other two combined.) Water is best when ice cold.

I'm going to focus on my midterm Thursday, and pretend that once that's done, I'm done. This is an excellent coping mechanism. Hurrah.

I've been listening to MSN's radio, specifically the indie stations. I listen to these stations to learn about new music, but sometimes it gets old and I just want to hear songs that I know. When I do, I'm so disappointed that I change the station. Go figure.

This song is from the soundtrack to the movie Series 7. A movie which I've seen twice, and loved both times. Yeah. I could talk about it, but I really don't want to write anymore.

I'm melancholy-ish, of late.

Sarae, 01:37 AM
while listening to Girls Against Boys - One Dose of Truth
[Just this]

Monday March 10, 2003

All you really wanted
All right. Next time I suggest taking a nap later than two in the afternoon, please slap me silly. Threaten me with death, mayonnaise and bacon if you will - just keep me from napping. I feel so ill now.

At least my new shoes are fucking hot! Must try on with dress.

Sarae, 09:18 PM
while listening to Stephen Malkmus - Church on White
[Just this]

I know it's not a good idea. I know it's a really really bad idea. But I want to nap. I want to put on my pjs, turn out the light and burrow in my chocolate brown flannel sheets, and sleep for an hour. I know that I'll just wake up tired and confused, but hey - I'm tired and confused as it is. Maybe if I nap I'll be able to try on my new heels and clean the floor.

Right?

Sarae, 05:54 PM
while listening to The Sea and the Cake - The Kiss
[Just this]

I am my father's daughter
I was just flipping through the channels looking for a brief bit o' entertainment when I happened to catch the last minute of play from last Wednesday's basketball game.

Except at the end. At the end, the very very end, when Harris missed his first free throw, and made the second, and everyone cheered and the crowd was on its feet and the announcers were screaming about how it was the UW's first outright title since 1947, and the players were so happy... and I cried.

I didn't sob. But I cried. Out of happiness. Because I was there.

Sarae, 01:29 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

Saturday March 8, 2003

You just have to commit

• I didn't throw up. Of this I am immensely proud.
  
• My relatives think I drank a few beers and went home. Wouldn't they be shocked.
  
• Fishbowls with many many straws in front of Saras who are, if given a straw and a beverage, prone to just suck without thinking are very bad things indeed.
  
• It's no fun to get queasy by 10, and the rationalizations that you started at five thirty and ate practically nothing don't help.
  
• Sherry - or was her name Shelly? - at Wando's is my angel, providing me with water, hugs, pictures and a nice drink that was slippery some body part attached. I'm thinking nipple.
  
• Not only did I fall down twice in Amazon (these spills I remember) but also once on the street. My back hurts. My head, surprisingly, does not - even though I hit it quite a few times.
  
• I was up until seven. I don't remember much after three, though apparently I was fucking hilarious.
  
• I remember congratulating a mass of dancing UND fans at Brother's near the end of the night. I remember doing this a few times. They were nice. I remember Mike being very nice and buying us shots. I do not remember Mike telling me that he was twenty-eight, with his aunt, and staying at the HoJo. I do remember he was tall.
  
• I do remember telling a creepily bug-eyed guy that he couldn't talk to Renata and I because she was my girlfriend and getting annoyed. I did this because Renata told me do. I don't remember if he left.
  
• I remember screaming "It's my birthday! I'm 21! Thank you!" upwards of 50 times.
  
• There was a rather nice girl in a bathroom who told me the Majestic sucked. She had curly hair and we talked for a long time. Or, it seemed like a long time.
  
• I remember telling Colette and Katie they were whores because they made my computer not work. I was too drunk to realize that they'd taken the power cord out. They also hid my cell phone; it's still missing.
  

I was quite rude to Colette and Katie, telling them they were whores because they made my computer not work. I was too drunk to realize that they'd taken the power cord out. They also hid my cell phone; it's still missing. I wrote amusing messages on my white board, like, "Katie = 35 + 5, Colette = computer whore, Sara = so drunk," and some other messages that shan't be told. Angry that I couldn't post lovely messages for y'all, I scribbled on blue paper: "Colette = whore, no sex with Mike, no computer, want to type, Katie + Colette = BICTCHES, Renata = cab, Sara = DRUNK, scary old man = 35 scary, SARA = So drunk, made out with Renata (kissed cheek)"

Also, I have absolutely no recollection of deciding that Colette needed to learn how to give a blow job. No recollection whatsoever of loudly proclaiming, "You just have to take it! The cock! You just have to commit!" all the while assuring Colette that I could be her girlfriend. Or of talking about blow jobs for the next hour.

Sarae, 06:12 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

Friday March 7, 2003

Friday Five: Birthday edition
1. What was the last song you heard? Justin Timberlake - "Right For Me"

2. What were the last two movies you saw? Far From Heaven, Chicago

3. What were the last three things you purchased? Slutty shirt, semi-slutty shirt, and a necklace.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? See family, see friends, drink far too much, and study for a midterm.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? That I know? My mother, my father, Renata, and two coworkers. Assorted salespeople, customers and myself as well.

Sarae, 04:56 PM
while listening to Justin Timberlake - Right For Me
[Just this]

Tonight's theme shall be:

Selected lyrics of 50 cent:

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!

You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Look mami I got the X if you into taking drugs
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love
So come give me a hug if you into to getting rubbed

Time to go get ready, pumped, and prepared to be damned obnoxious. Woo! I love birthdays!

Sarae, 04:45 PM
while listening to 50 cent - In Da Club
[Just this]

Happy Birthday To Me
It's my birthday! And no one can bring my mood down, damn it.

Sarae, 10:07 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

Thursday March 6, 2003

Crayola mania
I think I like it when boys are well-dressed, in various shades of grey.

Sarae, 07:19 PM
while listening to nothin'
[Just this]

Words that don't come out
Right now, I'm supposed to be readying myself for work in an hour. Eating dinner, and the like. Or working on that mountain of studying that keeps accumulating. I'm not.

Instead, I'm sitting here. Trying to get motivated. Trying to get myself doing anything, really. Dinner would be nice, but clothes? Oh, clothes would be splendid.

Yeah.

Sarae, 05:33 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

Oh...
I think I've died and gone to heaven.

Sarae, 03:24 PM
while listening to nothing
[Just this]

Wednesday March 5, 2003

Absolutely Anytime
1. Today I learned that it's okay, if you're a Catholic, to skip Lent as long as you haven't molested any children. This is good, because somehow I've acquired some degree of Catholic guilt lately (does Catholicism pass through blood? Hmm, intruiging concept.) and have been feeling the urge to give something up. Nothing hard like, you know, swearing or such, but something. Now I know I don't have to - because I have not molested any children. Go me!

2. My attempts to sneakily avoid beer with my relatives is now a moot point. Because, you see, my aunt is giddily anticipating purchasing my first shot. I do hope she means my first shot of the night, as it will be neither my first shot, nor my first shot of my birthday. Meanwhile my uncle is preparing to purchase my first martini ever - I think he's hoping that I'll acquire a taste, so that he won't be the only one at family functions with the drink.

3. The Badgers gave me the best birthday present ever. They tried to scare me a lot, with that tie at .4 seconds left in the game, but Devon, oh thank you. Somehow I managed to take around 200 pictures at the game. Impressive, but more than a tad excessive. I will also acquire a nice bruise on the back of my thigh from bumping it repeatedly into my seat. I swear, the crowd was on their feet more this game than all the previous conference games - combined.

4. Josh is a mean bastard. I want to beat him up. And I would, if I hadn't been a bitch and asked for it. So, whatever.

5. Sometimes when you realize just how fucked you are, you don't care. This is kind of one of those times. I say kind of due to the horrendously large knot in my stomach. I say that I don't care, because it's slowly disappearing. Yay avoidance!

Sarae, 11:01 PM
while listening to The Watchmen - Absolutely Anytime
[I wrote more]

Hey you -
Yes you, lady. Don't be all snippy and short with me, you asked for my help. You brushed me off once, twice, and I still came back, helpful as ever. So next time, you can just watch your tone.

People.

Sarae, 09:32 AM
while listening to click click click
[Just this]

Bum dum
Ok, so. It's my birthday week, so I'm allowed to be a total slacker right? Right? Shit, I'm not.

Oh well, I'll just have to buckle down and get some actual work done, between all these social engagements that are piling up. I could say no, but where's the fun in that? I'm all about the yes. I'm so fucking popular, don't you just want to fuck me?

Sarae, 01:41 AM
while listening to quiet
[Just this]

Tuesday March 4, 2003

An evening well spent
Somehow Colette and I began debating heterosexual versus lesbian benefits. It's at a 37-37 point tie at the moment, and I think we've named everything possible. Blowjobs and frequency of sex were major issues of contention. For awhile, the homos were in the lead with such undeniable benefits as couples being able to live together in dorms, and being able to get some action in high school with your "friend" who was sleeping over. Then, bam, the hets gained equal ground with such legal issues as insurance and marriage.

I wish we'd had a representative of male homosexuality. He'd have gotten at least one extra point: Colette thinks it would be a definite plus to be able to sword-fight with their penises. I must admit, I agree. Then again, they wouldn't have gotten some of the other points.

I think the moral to all this is: who cares! It's two in the fucking morning!

Sarae, 02:09 AM
while listening to AIM messages denoting brilliant hilarity
[Just this]

Monday March 3, 2003

Hey, hey
It's rather frightening how, when you desperately want to avoid all things academic but know you oughtn't, how a brief coffee-getting excursion turns into a three and a half hour coffee, shopping and dinner outing. How two hours can melt away with conversation ranging from handcuffing boys to beds, to my embarassing coffee-shop dancing. (It's not my fault they were playing fun head-bopping music, now is it?)

Also: we've learned exactly why I would never be an appropriate LGBT housing liason - aside from the obvious. Apparently in any given scenario, I would suggest highly inappropriate and implausible things. I'm guessing that saying that I would tell freshman lesbians to snap their female floormates with towels while wearing lingerie would not get me the position. So, really, it's a good thing that Colette had more proper answers when she was being interviewed for real.

Sarae, 11:17 PM
while listening to
[Just this]

Everybody's dying just to get the disease
As always, I am here to serve. So I offer you this suggestion:

When you find yourself nearing midnight, face feverish and nose chapped (with a delightful mix of congestion and, well, non-congestion), with a mood that allows lost pajama pants, momentarily lost book and the fact that tomorrow, you have to work, (and other things) to almost force you into tears, it's not a good thing. In fact, it's a damned sorry thing. And when all these things are occuring simultaneously, and you just want to blow your nose but it's chapped so that it hurts, and your Dayquil isn't working anymore but you don't want to take any more because you'll be in bed soon, and you're feeling sorry for yourself for every damn thing you've done, that's me. Right now. And when that's you, when you're in that place, there's one thing you shouldn't let yourself do. (There's two, but this isn't about the other.)

You don't listen to Elliott Smith.

Or at least, you shouldn't listen to Elliott Smith. The whole point to this is that I am, though I know no good will come of it. I've been slipping lately, in the area of self-control. Slipping for years, actually. Things which I once would have written off altogether are now being done. Little things. Big things. Things which wiggle into my skull and won't leave until they're done; things which I do without really thinking about. I'm not who I was four years ago, I'm not even the girl I was one year ago. I'm not sure if this is a positive or negative transformation, I really don't care.

Or maybe I do, and I'm just worried that I won't ever stop.

Or maybe I just need to sleep, not get any sicker, and enjoy myself.

Sarae, 12:16 AM
while listening to Elliott Smith - 2:45 AM
[I wrote more]

Sunday March 2, 2003

I know that something funny is going on
For those not in the know, my birthday is on friday. That's right, five days. And suddenly my vague avoidance of birthday plans have gone completely unnoticed by my aunt, and now she's invited herself along to some of the festivities. I've got a way that would make it work out fairly well - have a family dealie, then have friends-only, but this.. well, let's just say it requires politics.

All I need is a plan beforehand, one that I shall formulate before Wednesday. One which is going quite nicely.

Scratch all that - I need suggestions on how to avoid beer-drinking with my relatives. Any ideas?

Sarae, 08:52 PM
while listening to Robbie Fulks - Laurel and Heartache
[Just this]

Rrrrriot!
Yesterday I was lamenting the lack of overt right-wing politics in music. Not that I would seek it out, mind you, but it seems unfair that there's quite a liberal presence, but not raging conservative music (unless, of course, there is such music and I'm just unaware of or oblivious to it - quite possible.)

Anyways, this spiralled into Colette saying that I ought to start a conservative riot grrl band. (Isn't that a funny phrase?) I've got some great ideas - like, my motto could be "The extra R's for Republican." I'm sure I could think up some lyrics expressing my love of homeland security. And really, a "get off your ass and get a job" song targeting those on welfare could be amusing.

So, it's all set. Now all I need to do is get over all those pesky non-Republican beliefs I have. Man, I'd be set.

(Please note: I am not a Republican. Again I repeat: I am not a Republican. This was all farce. I repeat: not real.)

Sarae, 11:58 AM
while listening to
[Just this]

Saturday March 1, 2003

What the hell?
Since when is college basketball on Sundays? Since when do my dear sweet Badgers play on Sundays? Damn them.

And why is my nose picking now, now to get all sniffly and damned annoying? Doesn't it know my birthday's in less than a week? It's fine all school-year long (impressive, actually, compared to last year, disastrously bug-filled) but now it decides that hey, we're gonna get'cha sick!

Well, nose, I have two words for you: fuck you.

Sarae, 01:59 PM
while listening to
[Just this]